Category Archives: dating is fun!

hey, remember that time?

Mornin’ loves!

I was a gigantic cranky pants yesterday, in case you didn’t notice. The boy IM’d me after I posted the blog about silliness in our relationship.

the boy: what!? Making up Neil Diamond lyrics about how much he loves his Bedazzler is not “silly” enough?? (This is true. He made up an entire song’s worth. I almost threw up I was laughing so hard.)

me: LOL. I forgot about that. You’re totally right. I’ll add an adendum.

the boy: I know that was certainly at the forefront of your mind, but it just wouldn’t fit with the tone of the post.

me: Oh right yeah that’s totally completely exactly what happened.

Apparently we’re silly all the time and I was just being dour and sour and generally 100 kinds of crotchety. Which is a funny word and makes me smile, because it simultaneously brings up mental images of old people and makes me think of crotch and how can you not laugh when you hear that word? Crotch. Ha.

I feel much better today though, because last night I had a complete failure of a derby practice and I adored every single second of it.

  • We practiced falls. I am SUPER good at falls. If there was an MVF (most valuable faller) award for the newbies, I would totally win.
  • We practiced skating backwards. I am super good at standing up on my skates while facing backwards (you know you’re facing backwards when you’re facing the opposite direction that everyone else is moving).
  • We practiced stopping. I am super good at the stop that looks like the plow stop they teach three year old skiers. The other ones mostly involve skating backwards and not standing backwards, so I’ll have to grow into those.

I also got my mentor. Her name is Raven Lunachic and she didn’t smack me upside the head when I failed to skate backwards for the tenth straight minute in a row, which leads me to believe a) that she’s incredibly patient and b) that I would not make a good mentor because that would have been my instinct after about two minutes.

Basically, I love derby and I love silliness and I’m thinking that maybe I should just start staying at home under the covers on Thursdays. Fuck Thursdays, right? Can I get a hell yeah?

Muah.

See? MVF. Also, could I BE any sexier?



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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear

Remember how I said that 2009 was the year I started to just adore other bloggers? Temerity Jane in particular?

Today her most hilariousness posted about the silliness that happens inside of a couple. She says “I realized I kind of unconsciously feel bad for other couples and assume that they are, in fact, stifled in that way. That there’s no possible way that they’re silly with each other the way that Phil and I are.” She then goes on to realize that of course that can’t conceivably be true – that most couples must have some silliness somewhere and she just hasn’t seen it.

The boy and I just aren’t all that silly. It clearly can’t be because I’m not silly (I still tell the pirate jokes to coworkers and then laugh hysterically, I shake my ass at inanimate objects to make them think I’m sexy, and I’m a 5 foot tall woman who joined ROLLER DERBY, for heaven’s sake) and I’m pretty sure he has the capacity to be silly as well… so it must be that we’re just not silly together.

One of my all time favorite scenes in Grey’s Anatomy is when Burke comes home from a run to find Cristina dancing to her iPod while brushing her teeth and joins in.

Maybe there’s silliness I’m forgetting about. I think we’re mostly about intellectual discussion, though. Honestly. The other day in the car we spent over an hour discussing the relative definitions of intelligence and the individual’s capacity for the same.

Seriously.

Which is not to say he doesn’t make me laugh – he does, all the time. But it’s usually from smartness, not silliness. (Yes, I said smartness. Yes, I am smart.)

Next time I see him, I’m going to shake my ass at him while telling him a pirate joke.  We’ll see how it goes.

P.S. I said I’d finish my review from yesterday, didn’t I. Ok, here goes. I was totally lying about what I ate on that first date because I do not remember. I also do not remember what I ate on the second date, because that guy sucked more than the first one and I was concentrating on getting the hell out of there. The third date was with the boy and was absolutely perfect, and I had a hamburger and he had the scallop special and I had wine and he had a Manhattan and we’re still dating and The Empire is my favorite restaurant and you should go. Love, Emma the food critic.

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the things we do for love

I’m at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
Watching the Buffalo Sabres.

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Yes, I'm ridiculous

Not only because I went skating again today after seriously taking out my hands and knees yesterday.

Mom and I were driving home from Thanksgiving (which was delish, thanks Cousin!) and I got to blabbing, as I am wont to do after a few glasses of wine. Damned if I can remember how we got onto the topic of jealousy, but there we were.

Here is what a day in the life of the boy looks like, on average – just the parts that are key to my point: He gets up. He goes to work after a couple of hours, where on a big day he works with two other men, some days there’s one guy there, and quite often he works alone. Sometimes he doesn’t even go to the office, preferring to work from home. Either way, if we don’t have plans, there’s a not horrible chance that he’ll stop in at one of the restaurants on Main Street for lunch or an after work drink – or both. He knows everyone who works in all two of said restaurants, some of whom are female. He does not generally talk about them and is not shy about bringing me up in stories when the occasion is called for.

Here is what one of my average days looks like, with the same parts highlighted: I get up and run and go to work. I drink coffee with a friend of mine who I’ve worked with for several years (male). I IM with five other friends about lord knows what all freaking day long (Shovonda, my brother, and three male coworkers). I stop by the office of my sort-of mentor to gossip and have him trim my bangs if there are any stray hairs (male and while it doesn’t sound like it, straight). I go to a bazillion meetings with my team (all male). I then come home and incessantly repeat every morsel of the day in this fashion ‘I was with Allen in the cafe and Bob stopped by and told me that Corey was having a breakdown, but on my way up to his office Devon called me in to ask about the interview…’ etc. I don’t talk about him much at work – I do everything that I can to avoid reminding the men I work with that I’m a young woman, which having a boyfriend certainly does.

In our social lives we’re much more likely to hang out with people of our own gender. While he has lots of female friends, most of them are attached to a man that he knew first. I have fewer male friends outside of work – my besties are pretty much female.

He is a mild flirt. He has charisma that he’s not fully aware of, and I’ve seen firsthand the effect he has on women. Even with me sitting there. (Coughcoughbitchescough.)

I am a passionate and ambitious flirt. A couple of examples of the things I’ve done at bars while the boy was actually there with me: accept a sip from a stranger’s drink while deciding if I should order it, huddle in the corner with a man I just met listening to his dating philosophy, and … actually, I think that’s enough examples. Because my dad is reading.

Are you waiting to hear why I’m ridiculous, or have you caught on?

I get jealous – he does not. He sees maybe ten women a week who aren’t me and pays them no undue attention – he appreciates them for who they are when they’re worth appreciating and that’s where it stops. I see triple digits of and spend not insignificant amounts of time with men who aren’t him, and have been known to get details of the lives of strange men that their therapists don’t know.

If our places were switched, I would have a little green fit every single day of my life. He sees who I am, knows that I love him and would never do anything to hurt him, and doesn’t give it a thought. I know that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, and yet.

Hence, I am ridiculous. He is awesome.

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Yes, I’m ridiculous

Not only because I went skating again today after seriously taking out my hands and knees yesterday.

Mom and I were driving home from Thanksgiving (which was delish, thanks Cousin!) and I got to blabbing, as I am wont to do after a few glasses of wine. Damned if I can remember how we got onto the topic of jealousy, but there we were.

Here is what a day in the life of the boy looks like, on average – just the parts that are key to my point: He gets up. He goes to work after a couple of hours, where on a big day he works with two other men, some days there’s one guy there, and quite often he works alone. Sometimes he doesn’t even go to the office, preferring to work from home. Either way, if we don’t have plans, there’s a not horrible chance that he’ll stop in at one of the restaurants on Main Street for lunch or an after work drink – or both. He knows everyone who works in all two of said restaurants, some of whom are female. He does not generally talk about them and is not shy about bringing me up in stories when the occasion is called for.

Here is what one of my average days looks like, with the same parts highlighted: I get up and run and go to work. I drink coffee with a friend of mine who I’ve worked with for several years (male). I IM with five other friends about lord knows what all freaking day long (Shovonda, my brother, and three male coworkers). I stop by the office of my sort-of mentor to gossip and have him trim my bangs if there are any stray hairs (male and while it doesn’t sound like it, straight). I go to a bazillion meetings with my team (all male). I then come home and incessantly repeat every morsel of the day in this fashion ‘I was with Allen in the cafe and Bob stopped by and told me that Corey was having a breakdown, but on my way up to his office Devon called me in to ask about the interview…’ etc. I don’t talk about him much at work – I do everything that I can to avoid reminding the men I work with that I’m a young woman, which having a boyfriend certainly does.

In our social lives we’re much more likely to hang out with people of our own gender. While he has lots of female friends, most of them are attached to a man that he knew first. I have fewer male friends outside of work – my besties are pretty much female.

He is a mild flirt. He has charisma that he’s not fully aware of, and I’ve seen firsthand the effect he has on women. Even with me sitting there. (Coughcoughbitchescough.)

I am a passionate and ambitious flirt. A couple of examples of the things I’ve done at bars while the boy was actually there with me: accept a sip from a stranger’s drink while deciding if I should order it, huddle in the corner with a man I just met listening to his dating philosophy, and … actually, I think that’s enough examples. Because my dad is reading.

Are you waiting to hear why I’m ridiculous, or have you caught on?

I get jealous – he does not. He sees maybe ten women a week who aren’t me and pays them no undue attention – he appreciates them for who they are when they’re worth appreciating and that’s where it stops. I see triple digits of and spend not insignificant amounts of time with men who aren’t him, and have been known to get details of the lives of strange men that their therapists don’t know.

If our places were switched, I would have a little green fit every single day of my life. He sees who I am, knows that I love him and would never do anything to hurt him, and doesn’t give it a thought. I know that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, and yet.

Hence, I am ridiculous. He is awesome.

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oh right

I forgot to get the things I’m thankful for in writing. Spoiler warning: mostly mushy and not particularly funny.

I’m thankful for my family: that my mom and dad are literally close by and that my brother and I are close enough that his living in Portland doesn’t stop us from being friends. I’m thankful for all the time I got to know my Grandpa and how much my Grandma still loves him, even though he’s gone. I know it’s hard for her, but I’m always going to be thankful for that kind of love when it intersects my life.

I’m thankful for the family I chose: my best friends, both furry and not, and the sweetheart that is the boy.

I’m thankful for all the silly things that make me happy: Eastwick (even though it’s cancelled), Under the Dome on audio book, and everything else that happened this year that I’ve since forgotten about.

I’m thankful for the toughness that I got from somewhere (thanks again mom and dad) that enabled me to fall down today, bang up my knees, break/strain/dislocate my thumb, and keep skating. Also, I’m thankful for roller skates, and for being in a position in my life that I can take up a sort of expensive sort of dangerous pretty hard new hobby just because I feel passionately about it.

I’m thankful for all those lovely people on the periphery of my life. Even if they never become besties, I am better and happier for knowing each one of them.

…. I think that’s all. I mean I’m thankful for lots more stuff, like 30% of sweaters at Gap and Banana tomorrow, but that doesn’t really seem Thanksgiving worthy. So yeah, that’s all.

 

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if it was a murder, how did they get him up there in the first place?

In order to craft the perfect second NaBloPoMo posting, I took the day off from work.

Ok, that’s not technically true. Technically, I have 7.5 days of vacation that I have to use by December 31st or I’ll lose them, and I’m having a hard time getting it all in. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but that’s 7.5 days out of 32 work days, which means I have to take slightly more than one out of every five days off for the rest of the year.  Poooooor me.

Anyway, today we’re going to play a little game. I’m going to create a list of Twenty Things I’ve Learned About Love, and you’re going to guess whether I learned them from a) TV/movies, b) my life, or c) the life of a real person that I personally know. If you are working with TJ to become a Person Who Comments, or you’re just naturally a commenter, leave your guesses!

  1. How do you know someone loves you? You know when they know the worst thing about you and it’s ok.
  2. Love is biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.
  3. While he may leave her for someone else, he will never leave her for you.
  4. Men who work in bagel shops are not to be trusted.
  5. If you marry your high school sweetheart, be prepared to spend your life listening to fart jokes.
  6. If you marry your high school sweetheart, be prepared to have your head cut off and put in a box by a serial killer.
  7. Real vampires make good boyfriends as long as they have souls.
  8. Gothboys who pretend they’re vampires do not make good boyfriends.
  9. Expensive sports memorabilia does not make a good gift for your girlfriend who does not follow sports, no matter how much you personally may love the team.
  10. How do you know someone loves you? They know the supernatural thing about you and it’s ok.
  11. Illicit sex is better practiced in rooms that are not full of shelves covered with precariously balanced fragile objects.
  12. EVERYBODY knows when two people are having an affair. Especially if one or both of them get murdered.
  13. If your husband claims to have a mysterious job that keeps him out of town roughly half the time and doesn’t have as much money as it seems like he should, you might want to check the marriage records for any second wives.
  14. IM was a godsend for people who like to talk about sex. Also, chemistry over IM does not necessarily indicate personal chemistry.
  15. Online dating can actually help you find your soulmate.
  16. Engineers and teachers are very compatible. Engineers and engineers, more so.
  17. John Cusack, despite being completely batshit insane in real life (don’t believe me? see him here on twitter (@shockozulu)) is very lovable if you happen to be in a movie. (Is this one too easy? Also, does it contain too many parenthesis? (Is that even possible?))
  18. Bachelor parties do not focus on fake vaginas to the extent that bachelorette parties focus on fake penises.
  19. When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you forget how truly frightening a burgeoning romance can be and think that you miss the ‘rush’.
  20. How do you know someone loves you? They read every entry of your blog.

The only hint I’ll give you is that number 11 is not something I learned personally. No really, it’s not. I swear.

P.S. Does ‘vagina’ have a plural that I’m not aware of? Or has no one in the history of writing ever needed to refer to them in the plural before? WordPress is telling me I misspelled it, but has no alternate suggestions.

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