more firepower

I’m going to write a zombie movie. I’ve seen most of the ones made in English, and lots of other movies too, and after two glasses of Christmas-gift-from-the-bosses-boss-who-already-bought-me-like-ten-Diet-Cokes-at-the-company-party wine I’m pretty sure that’s all I need to be a screenwriter.
It will star Zooey Deschanel and Isla Fisher as the owners of The Starlight Kitty, a Nevada brothel. They (like the real Shady Lady Ranch) will decide to add male prostitues to help weather the recession. The enterprise will prove to be quite lucrative and there will be montages of my girls literally rolling in their money.
Then a new client will come along (played by Amy Adams). She will go through several men each evening and continue to return, requesting new men, every night for a week. Then she’ll disappear.
The men Amy slept with will start to get ill, in the order she slept with them. Right when the first one turns into a zombie, Christina Ricci will bust in and shoot him in the head.
It will eventually turn out that Amy was diagnosed with an incurable disease that made her not only the typhoid Mary of zombie-ism, but also permanently aroused. Christina, as the doctor who diagnosed her, has gone rogue and has tracked her all over the world, killing her conquests before the seven day incubation period ended and they were able to pass the disease on.
There will be gunfights, zombies, sex, and lots of female bonding. It will be the best zombie movie ever written.



Filed under I have a pop culture problem

2 responses to “more firepower

  1. Dad

    I think your on to something – D

    Have you ever seen iron curtain (czech, polish, hungarian, etc) horror movies? Look into them, they set a whole new standard for BAD!

  2. Dad

    You might want to check this out for uhhhh, research purposes.
    Surprisingly, there I couldn’t find any Soviet Bloc movies (although there was one from Nigeria!)

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