am I dimmer every day

I’m just going to put something out there.

I am not a good skater.

No, it’s true. I’m not. I’m new, and I will get better, so this is not the end of the line, but MAN am I not a good skater.

Our first practice was tonight. We did some free skating, then had actual skating lessons. I sort of thought I’d be good at this – I mean, I’m an athlete. I can run a marathon. I realize that every roller girl in the world already knew this, but turns out skating is not running. Shocking, I know. I fell. A lot.

Then we did blocking. One of my most endearing/irritating (depending on who you are and your relationship to me) habits is compulsive laughter at inconvenient moments. The first time I fell off the wall when rock climbing – hysterical laughter. When I went indoor skydiving my laughter actually unbalanced me enough that my diving guide had to give me a stern talking to about it. Turns out blocking gives me a similar reaction. We paired up, planted our feet like sumo wrestlers on skates, and banged into each other over and over again. The soundtrack was a Killers album on the sound system, the soft grunts of tough chicks hitting each other, and the very poorly suppressed giggles of yours truly.

Our last bit of newbie initiation involved NOT being on wheels. We played derby… on foot. And it was awesome. And hard. And I got knocked down by a girl who was bigger than me.

This game is fan-fucking-tastic. These women are fan-fucking-tastic. Soon enough, I will no longer be skating like I’m made of whatever that stuff Gumby is made from. At least I hope so. Alternatively, I’d like to actually be made of what Gumby is made of, because I’m pretty sure that dude doesn’t bruise.

Me in my new RMGM sweatshirt.

Gumby. Not a Rocky Mountain Rollergirl.



Filed under they let me on skates?

2 responses to “am I dimmer every day

  1. Dad

    A whole lot better than a bowling shirt!

  2. 54

    few tips from an ex-derbyer to a newbie:

    – watch your ankles and knee alignment, this will help you from enduring lots of pain in the future (my derby career ended with a nicely torn MCL in my right knee).

    – part of what makes your height desirable for derby is that you can get low – so low that taller ladies such as myself will find it quite difficult to get to you. this will also ensure that you’re aligning your knees/ankles properly.

    – learn to fall every single which way, and not just what comes by instinct. i know you’ll learn all four major falling techniques, but practice falling on both sides, not just your dominant side.

    – perfect a good block and make it your signature move. a good blocker is just as important as a quick-footed jammer.


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