In my family, we make Christmas lists. They aren’t always honored, but they’re exceptionally helpful for a family in which three people bike and one can’t tell a Schwinn from a Bianchi, in which two read obsessively and two are lucky to find one book a year that holds their interest, and in which three eat dairy, one(ish) eats meat, and one eats none of the above.
I was the first to send out my list, although I have a sneaking suspicion that the tiniest sprinter has been working on his for awhile and is just waiting for the key time to distribute it – possibly after he next falls off his bicycle or talks about his migrating facial implants and we all feel bad for him. I wasn’t going to publish mine here because I thought there would be nothing interesting about it – and then I realized, I’m a blogger. I talk about uninteresting shit every single day (especially during NaBloPoMo) so there is really no valid reason to stop now.
So, here’s what I requested from my family.
1) A sewing machine. As I may have mentioned a bagizilllion times, I’m not the world’s tallest girl. That goes with me not having the longest arms and legs, and normal length shirts being long enough that they can’t be comfortably tucked in. Hence, I would like to become my own tailor. I realize that I could just hire a tailor, but that would reduce the chances of me discovering that fashion design is my calling and winning the next season of Project Runway (even though it’s lame now).
2) A salt bowl. Preferably a beautiful ones in either dark or reclaimed wood or green. I have a little white porcelain bowl that I use now, and have absolutely no reason whatsoever to get a new one… but that’s what Christmas is for, right? Getting those little things you covet that you can’t justify buying for yourself? Oh, and something about virgins and mangers…. we didn’t really focus on that part, we were more interested in early morning croissants and those chocolate oranges you have to whack on a table. If whacking chocolate doesn’t spell Christmas, I don’t know what does.
3) Grey’s Anatomy, starting with Season 2. No explanation needed for this one – me and Meredith are soul sisters.
4) Art, baby. This is all from Gallery Nucleus, which I discovered after the boy bought me the absolutely fantastic Use Technology to Collect the Women.
So there you go. That’s the list I put together every year to make sure I don’t end up with strange circular gears that I don’t know what to do with. I would of course also accept baklava, Whole Foods gift cards, and love – in that order. Of course, baklava and Whole Foods gift cards are synonyms for love in some languages, right?