my feelings are hurt

Last night I was out with the boy, Shovonda, and her hubby. It turns out that Shovonda NEVER calls into radio shows because she never wins (which of course could not be because she never calls in). Except yesterday, she did call in. And she did win. Which means that her calling in to winning ratio is 100%.

Awesomely enough, though, I won without calling in, because she’s taking me with her! Where, you ask?

To see the famous and side splittingly funny Kathy Griffin!

Yes, because pants around the ankles humor is usually my favorite kind of humor.

Turns out that it’s actually a Girls Night Out contest sponsored by Alice 105.9. I went to their website to see if I could find more details. I couldn’t, but what I did see what this advertisement about being an egg donor:

I am of the age where my girlfriends are mostly deep in baby mode. As would be the case with any group of women, not every one of them is having an easy time with it. I would imagine that a problem like that will just get more frequent as we get older. This little ad tugged my heartstrings just a tad – I mean, wouldn’t helping someone have a baby be cool? Yes, of course there would be a lot to think about (a little Emma running around who wasn’t mine, for example), but it would definitely be a sweet thing to do.

Plus they pay you $5000.

So I went to the website, and read the little blurbs and success stories, and thought… well, what would it hurt to fill out the introduction form? They asked normal questions like my age and if I had a family history of cancer, things like that. I answered yes where you’d think yes would be the right answer, I filled in my rather-impressive-if-I-do-say-so-myself SAT score, and I answered no where you’d think no would be the right answer. All truthfully. Honestly I was sort of thinking that they’d be psyched – I’m all healthy and cute and smart and stuff! Ah hubris – how quickly I was brought down.

About an hour after I submitted the questionnaire, I received this response.

Based on the height requirements of our recipients and you being under 5’2, we would not have a suitable match. Therefore, we cannot proceed with your application. Thank you for your interest.

Well hmph. Now my feelings are hurt and I’m feeling discriminated against. If I were in need of an egg donor I would be pissed that all the available eggs were from tall women – I want my daughter, should I have one, to be short and awesome, like me.

I wonder how tall Kathy Griffin is.



Filed under I'm a cranky brat, nablopomo, the people I love

3 responses to “my feelings are hurt

  1. samburglar

    don’t they know that small people live longer? and that we can fit into places other people can’t in survival situations? and that we’re a lot better looking?

    seriously though, isn’t putting restrictions on donors’ characteristics pretty much the same exact thing, if a little watered down, as creating designer babies?

    i can maybe understand wanting a donor to resemble you, so that the child might also, but at the same time i’m also kind of bummed out that they can make selections based on more than just critical health related issues.

    could you ask for an egg and say “no asians” or “no jews” and feel ok about that? “no fat people?” “no uglies?” why does that feel funny, but listing a minimum height – essentially saying “no small people” – is ok?

    then again, the donor is getting $5000? for that kind of money i’d want complete control over which egg i got. “suprise! welcome to a lifetime of orthodontist bills and salty, overteased children tears!” no thanks.

    so i guess basically, i don’t much care for this egg selling business at all. i think i’ll keep my eggs to myself.

    the girl version of your little brother

    • emmanation

      The parents sort of can do that, actually. Here’s all the info they can see on a girl before they even request her detailed history:
      Donor 1633
      Height: 5’6″
      Weight: 180
      Eye Color: brown
      Hair Color: red
      Race: Caucasian (i.e. White, European)
      Ethnic Heritage: German, Polish

      So yeah, the parents can design the hell outta their baby. I’m just pissed that the donor people think they shouldn’t even have the shorty OPTION. Bastards. I may go picket outside their office with a big sign. That says… that says… well, I’ll think of something.

      Cause we are awesome. We do live longer and fit more places. And also, I always wanted a sister, so girly little brother can comment any time.

      • Dad

        What I find funny is that they have a minimum height at all. I would think that there are short people out there who DON’T want a child who towers over them. Put height on the questionnaire and let the buyer decide as they would with any other factor. – D

        P.S. – You have a sister, it’s just that she floated away in a balloon about 30 years ago. Last seen in a circus in Borneo. Huh, Mom never mentioned her?

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