somebody help me, I couldn’t see the ground

A few days ago, I believe I mentioned I would write about Burn Notice and Jeffrey Donovan.  Why was I going to write about Jeffrey Donovan again….. ?

Oh yeah:

This is why.

So Micheal is hot, obvs (look up),  and an ex-spy who has taught me everything I know about the spy business.

Guess what I’m going to do with all my newfound spy skills? Become a private detective. Yeah yeah yeah, I’ve blogged about it before, but I just found out that you don’t need a PI license to operate in Colorado. Let me say that again. You do not need a license to operate as a private investigator in Colorado. That means, quite simply, that all I have to do is put up my shingle and convince people that I’m trustworthy.

I realize that you’re all shaking your heads, thinking ‘but Emma, what about your bakery? What about when you wanted to take the MCAT? What about the job that you alternately love and hate?’ Hear me out. There are a lot of reasons I would be an awesome PI.

  • I’m good with the internet. Ok, not better than half the other 28 year old women out there, but certainly more competent than some 55 year old who’s cheating on his wife. Possibly his mistress will be an internet savvy 28 year old, but I can handle her. I mean honestly, how smart can she be, with boobs that big?
  • I try very hard not to be underestimated. I’m cocky and make a big deal out of my intelligence and my education partially so that I’m not just written off as a teeny cute little girl. I also do it partially because I am cocky, in case you were wondering. If I stopped doing it, however, and talked a lil slower… well, now, there’s no one in the world who would see all 5 feet of me as a threat.
  • I could go somewhere different every day and therefore wouldn’t get bored.
  • Sunny Randall usually brings Rosie. Stephanie Plum uses Bob as a reason  to snoop around neighborhoods where she’d otherwise look suspicious. I have the advantage on them, cause I have Cloey AND Maida.

june 061

  • And finally…. I read about Sunny, and Stephanie, and Kinsey, and Goldy (blah), and Nancy, and Kate, and Mary, etc. And of course I watch Veronica. What could there possibly be to know that these lovely crime fighting ladies haven’t taught me? If you’re saying to yourself ‘nothing’, well then, my friend, you’re exactly right.

I’m writing more about cute men. The DB is out of town. Correlation does not prove causation, I know, but it does seem to be sort of an unlikely coincidence.

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Filed under I have a pop culture problem, I make lists, it's all about me, work

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