my boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble

My dear boyfriend (the DB, for those of you who haven’t been keeping up), is in NY. I am alllll alone from last Sunday until a week from Saturday.

Did that sound a little pathetic?  Good, cause that was my segue into my topic for this evening.

What am I doing while all alone? Are you guessing ‘making chicken tortilla soup without green bell peppers?’ If you are, you’re a genius, but that’s not all I’m doing. I’ve had what the DB likes to call ‘girl dates’ every night since he’s left, and tonight I am finally on my own. I’m using the time to watch Bride Wars. That’s right. That’s where the segue comes in. Pathetic me -> renting a movie I know is going to piss me off because of it’s portrayal of women as wedding obsessed -> Bride Wars. Commentary shall begin… now.

Ok, first things first. Two lil girls go to the Plaza (whatever that is) and see a June wedding. They then start playing wedding, wherein the blond always gets to be the bride. The brunette’s name is EMMA. Give her whatever she wants, blondie.

When they grow up, they seem to be two very cute, well balanced, loving chicas. I have to say I’m relating to not-Emma more than Emma at this point, as she’s the one who barges into her boyfriend’s office saying “ok, are you going to marry me or not?” Either way, they’re both engaged. Both still a little obsessed with this June@ the Plaza concept, but I’m currently ok with it. I’m obsessed with a Vegas drive-thru concept, so I’ll give them their wedding dreams if I can have mine.

Awesome. “What you think there’s something better than Vera Wang? Do they keep that next to the something that’s better than chocolate?”

I’m actually starting to side with Emma on this for reasons that don’t have anything to do with her name. She’s the one who has always caved, apparently, and it’s time for her to stand up for herself. I fully agree. It will be good for both of them.

The other women in this movie are all freaking depressing. When not-Emma announced her engagement, one had to be talked down from the ice cream, one popped antidepressants, and one started bitching to her sleeping husband about how much she hates him.

This movie is fucking with me. I am very susceptible to movies (witness my recent tears in He’s Just Not That Into You, but I sorta thought I’d be above this. Seems I’m not. I’m all concerned for them. Stupid mutter mutter.

Emma is trying to make not-Emma fat. Fat brides are not ok? Really?

Emma’s fiance just said “I feel sorry for {not-Emma’s fiance} because he’s not going to be able to control his wife”. Emma, appropriately, got super pissed off and will likely not marry that jackass.

I guess most things I have to say about this are a variation on “why would you fuck with your friend for ONE DAY of your life?” I have friends who said that their weddings were the best day of their lives, but the obsession with this single day makes my brain hurt a little.

Shprokets! Inside joke.

I don’t think I can write about the end. I want very badly to be disapproving but I’m having a hard time typing through my girly tears.



1 Comment

Filed under dating is fun!, movie club

One response to “my boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble

  1. heatherpanda

    i’m totally with you on this one: i hated the thought of even seeing this movie, complained when my sister rented it, and then proceeded to cry like a baby and have all sorts of epiphany-like realizations (at least i thought so at the time). don’t feel disappointed in yourself that you succumbed to it too 🙂

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