Oh Self Ignition

I hope I’m not surprising anyone when I acknowledge that the large majority of my post titles are in fact song lyrics (with the occasional literary reference thrown in just to show that my honors program in college did in fact teach me something).

In general I make no attempt to tie them to the theme of the post, I just type whatever has been rattling around in my head all day.  This particular one is from a song by The Silver Jews, and while it doesn’t actually make a lot of sense, the title always makes me think of masturbation. Go figure.

Anywho… SO not the purpose of this post. The purpose of this post is the FuckItList.  I am not kidding about this. Michael Ian Black, who is the HILARIOUS dude from I Love the 80s and various other weirdness, invented the list.

I thoroughly encourage you all to develop your own FuckItList. Generally, it’s the opposite of a Bucket List. I.e, the things that you absolutely do not want to and will not get around to before you die.  I’ve just started mine, but I have to say, it’s cathartic and very much in keeping with the simplification theme of my personal happiness project. If you know what you don’t have to do, then you have more time to think about the things you DO want to do.

Here’s the beginning of mine. Suggestions welcome.

  1. Own or use a nanny cam. It’s just mean.
  2. Go skydiving. Never going to happen.
  3. Remotely patrol US borders.
  4. Go to Japan. I don’t know why, but I seriously have no interest in Japan. At all. Which is weird, cause you’d think I’d appreciate a country where my size clothing is not the smallest possible size made.  Or maybe that’s why I don’t want to go… it’s all very murky. Anyway, don’t need to go.
  5. Go to Mongolia. Same level of disinterest, plus I hate those Mongolian BBQ restaurants.
  6. Learn how to fly an airplane.
  7. Go to a professional sporting event in every state in the US. 
  8. Go to a professional sporting event in every country in the world.
  9. Go to the Olympics (unless I manage to qualify in competitive yoga. Which, since I don’t actually do yoga, seems unlikely). I’m like 99.9% sure the Olympics are just better on TV.
  10. Invent an iPhone App. I totally could. Srsly. I’m just not gonna.


See? Ten decisions I don’t have to make. “Hey Em, you want this nanny cam we’re not using anymore cause our nanny quit when she found out we had it?” “Nope, that’s on my FuckItList. Thanks though!”

Also, I have nothing against either Japan or Mongolia. I know that they are beautiful, fascinating places. Just not my cup of tea. Square watermelons? Pass. Foot binding? Pass.  Grill your own food on a big greasy plate with lots of other people and pay extra for the privilege? Pass.


Ok... maybe Ill go to Mongolia. I forgot about yurts. Yay for yurts.

Ok... maybe I'll go to Mongolia. I forgot about yurts. Yay for yurts.

Japan exception - if accompanied by The Destroyer, Id be on that country like wasabi on sushi.

Japan exception - if accompanied by The Destroyer, I'd be on that country like wasabi on sushi.



Filed under I make lists, it's all about me, my happiness project

3 responses to “Oh Self Ignition

  1. samburglar

    there was an episode of the x-files where the black dude from terminator ii got to use his nanny cam to help prove his innocence when he was being accused of murdering his wife. he was also living through his days in reverse order, and in the first day he lived through, he was shot and killed by his dead wife’s father as he was being transferred from one jail to another, so he realized that it was important to prove that he wasn’t guilty before he could be transferred. he figured out his reverse time thing when he noticed a spiderweb that had been swept away returned the next (previous) morning. either that, or the spider was killed, but it was there the next (previous) morning, i don’t remember. overall it didn’t make much sense, which seems to be common among all time-bending stories, but it was an action packed nail-biter nonetheless! also, agent doggit was in terminator ii too i just realized, so that episode was probably like a fun reunion for those two dudes! anyways, don’t burn any bridges by turning your back on nanny cams, because it could be the last mistake you ever make.

    the dude/chick in the yurt picture has a cool haircut.

  2. Pingback: thoughts while watching Event Horizon « emmanation

  3. Pingback: thoughts while watching Re-Animator « emmanation

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