Unhooked

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

 

 

This woman, Laura Sessions Stepp, just wrote this book.  Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both. 
Basically, the idea is that women in their late teens and early twenties are, yet again, ruining the idea of the perfect relationship.  In the 20s the loose morals of flappers were the downfall of upstanding men who just couldn’t resist women in little skirts.  20+ years ago the rising pregnancy rates were the fault of young women who just didn’t say no when they should.
Now – our ‘hookups’ are warping our ability to form lasting relationships.  At least that’s what concerns Ms. Stepp.  She thinks we’re rehearsing for a marathon by sprinting.  While she never uses the phrase ‘be a good wife’ the implication is everywhere – how on earth will we have a successful marriage if all we’ve ever done is sleep with frat boys (although I support the anti-frat boy movement, based on recent personal experience).   She’s worried that we’re not  practicing forming emotional attachements because we’re so concerned about throwing ourselves off balance, affecting our friendships with women and our careers. 

I’m not going to relate this to myself.  I’m irritated with her for berating us for doing what men have always done, I’m irritated with her for leaving men out of the story entirely, and I’m irritated with her for making me give her weight simply by acknowledging her argument.  Obviously the first two are more important than the last, otherwise this wouldn’t have shown up here.

What I am going to do is give you my favorite quotes:
“Relationships have been replaced by the casual sexual encounters known as hookups. Love, while desired by some, is being put on hold or seen as impossible.  Some girls can handle this; others … are exhausted physically, emotionally and spiritually by it.”
“The bar scene is a guy thing. Young women would be better served by staying home to bake cookies, brownies, muffins as guys will do anything for homemade treats.”  (seriously? every time I read that I kind of want to laugh and hit her at the same time).
And my personal favorite: “I hope to encourage girls to think hard about whether they’re ‘getting it right’.”

This whole thing can be boiled down to one phrase.  Dr. Stepp?  Bite me.

 

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